And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." – Anaïs Nin

When I look back at my life I realise how low self worth has been my core wound. At school I was always trying to be the funny and have the latest clothes and look good to win friends and be popular.

I was never happy with the way I looked, sometimes just eating an apple for lunch - this later blossomed into anorexia. I was always trying to be something else, something better to be loved or liked. 

As an Enneagram type 3, my lifelong pattern has been believing that my worth comes from what I do, what I achieve, and how I am perceived by others. Deep down, Type 3s fear that without visible success, admiration, or accomplishments, they will be overlooked, unloved, or unworthy.

This can lead to an exhausting cycle of overworking, chasing external validation, and shape-shifting to meet others’ expectations — often at the expense of our authentic selves. We can become so focused on achieving that we lose sight of who we truly are and what we genuinely want.

I recognise this in myself deeply. For years, I believed I had to earn love, approval, and even rest. But I’ve come to learn that real self-worth isn’t built on constant proving. It’s the quiet, unshakable knowing that I am enough simply because I am.

Low self-worth is sneaky. It’s not always obvious, but it can quietly influence every part of your life. It might show up as…

• Struggling to charge what you’re worth or constantly underpricing your work.

• Apologising for taking up space or asking for what you need.

• Saying “yes” when you mean “no” because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.

• Comparing yourself to others and always coming up short.

• Believing you have to earn love, approval, or rest.

At its heart, low self-worth is the belief that you are not enough as you are — that your value depends on what you achieve, how you look, or what you do for others.

By contrast, a healthy sense of self-worth is knowing, deep down, that you are valuable and lovable simply because you exist. Your worth is not up for debate — it is innate, unchanging, and cannot be taken away by failure, rejection, or other people’s opinions.

Here are some simple but powerful practices to start shifting into that truth:

1. Daily Worthiness Affirmations
   Speak to yourself like you would to someone you love. Try:

   • “I am worthy, simply because I am.”

   • “I do not have to earn my worth — it is my birthright.”
     Repeat them out loud each morning or write them in a journal until they start to feel real.

2. Celebrate Small Wins
   At the end of each day, list 3 things you’re proud of — big or small. This helps your brain recognise your efforts and value beyond external results. It could be the act that I took a walk before I started work or have been super kind to myself today. Small things that show yourself that you matter.

3. Say ‘No’ Without Explaining
   Practice setting boundaries without over-justifying yourself. A simple, “I can’t do that right now” is enough. This reinforces the belief that your needs matter too.

4. Unfollow to Unhook
   If you find yourself comparing on social media, unfollow or mute accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy. Protect your mental space like the sacred energy it is.

5. Inner Child Connection
   Visualise your younger self and imagine telling them they are lovable, safe, and enough exactly as they are. This can begin to heal the root of unworthiness.

Building self-worth isn’t an overnight process — it’s a gentle, consistent commitment to remembering who you really are and unlearning who you were told to be.

"It takes far more energy to keep pretending you’re someone you’re not than to stand in the truth of who you are."